The Day My Earth Stood Still. . .
Where do our memories go when we can’t remember? Do they go down the endless pit of a memory drain,
or have they been misplaced, sidelined, or lost,
or are they somewhere waiting to be found again?
Or do they go into the brains memory shredder
where the less used memories become deleted.
Could eventually all our memories go in there
leaving our memory completely depleted?
~ Orlando Belo ~
At the hospital, I was taken immediately into ER where the team began a rapid assessment. I appeared to be in no acute distress and did not “look” sick. I was poked, prodded, scanned, giggled, wiggled, drained of (what seemed like) half my blood, asked a million questions to which I had very few answers, but I repeatedly asked the same questions unknowingly. My white cell count was 22,000 yet no infection could immediately be pinpointed nor was one ever determined.
My husband and two oldest children began texting and calling close friends, family, and prayer chains. Stroke? Aneurism? Tumor? Scary words!! Yet every test was negative!
Somewhere, during what began as an ordinary Saturday, August 18, 2012, a breakfast of homemade fresh blueberry Belgium waffles and maple sausage, housecleaning, sweeping, and scrubbing (since the week goes by too swiftly, there just aren’t enough hours for housework after school) a deep mystic fog settled into my brain, howbeit, I do not remember.
No one knows how it started, why it started, or how it began. The facts of the day have been shared with me and the steps that Larry and I took throughout that day have been reiterated to me only leaving me with more questions.
Was it that we visited garden centers in the greater Cleveland area in search of a flowering pink dogwood tree to enhance our landscaping? That day was particularly hot and late in the afternoon, thinking of immediate cooling gratification, we drove through a McDonalds to get frappe’s – chocolate for Larry, caramel for me! The frappe made me nauseas. Did that cause it? I ripped my pants getting back into the car. . .did that cause it?
I complained of being sick and drove myself home from the restaurant where we had met Wesley for dinner. . .I don’t remember.
Why, you ask, am I telling you all of this and recapping a seemingly ordinary day? Well, you see, I am simply repeating what was told to me about that day. . .because I DO NOT REMEMBER ANY OF IT!!! My earth had stopped spinning that day and somewhere along the line, I jumped off!
My short term memory completely obliterated for what seemed like an eternity but, in reality, was only a matter of hours. Somewhere in the middle of the night going into Sunday morning and after receiving a broad spectrum antibiotic to quell my super-high white count, the “fog” began to lift. The earth slowed to a “manageable” spin and I was able to climb back on. The next couple days were somewhat frightening as doctors tested, poked, scanned, and prodded more to find a clue as to what, when, where, how, and why?
The neurologist, who had ordered all of the STAT tests, finally having ruled out all of the possibly horrible diagnoses, declared that I had suffered “transient global amnesia”. The Mayo Clinic has a good description and discussion about it if you would like to know more.
It is a very rare condition (that figures) and equally as rare is the fact that so little is known about it. What bothers me most is that there is a part of my life, even if it was only a matter of hours, that are gone from me forever! Nothing I can do can ever help me to recapture that time or to remember it.
I firmly believe that God’s hand touched my life that night and helped to restore me to a right mind. Isaiah 26:3 reminds us that God will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is fixed upon Him and trusts in Him. During those moments when I did not know where I was, God knew. For many years, I had hid His word in my heart, and my mind, and it was through that Word that I experienced unexplained restoration of my mind. Because I have walked with my hand in the hand of that Man, my Savior, Jesus Christ, when I was “lost” somewhere in my mind, He carried me. He sustained me. His love engulfed me. In I Timothy 1:12, Paul writes, “for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me.”
I had entrusted myself to Jesus and He kept me. Philippians 2:5 reminds us to “let this mind (the mind of Christ) be in you. . .” How grateful I am that I had given my Savior, Jesus Christ, my mind. I had entrusted myself wholly and completely to Him. He didn’t let me down; He carried me. He restored me.
To God be ALL the glory.
For more information on "transient global amnesia" please visit: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022
