I Stand in Awe. . .

Since September, our Bible study has been studying a discipleship series, “Worship from the Tabernacle” by Wayne Barber, et al. Tonight as I was putting the finishing touches on what I wanted to share with my small group, I was wowed by how the Israelites were instructed to approach God, what would happen to them if His instructions were not followed, and how nonchalant we, as His church, had become, not only in our approach to God, but in our attitudes toward Him.

I KNOW we do not live under the bondage of the Old Testament Law and that we exist truly and only by the grace of God; that Jesus was the ultimate and only sacrifice for our sins and yes, His death and atonement provided direct access for us to the throne of God, but it makes me shudder to think that Satan has gotten such a foothold in our churches and in our lives, that we believe we can take God for granted and the “coming boldly” to the throne of grace means that just because we have access to Him, we can barge into His presence with a less than holy approach. Remember, even the high Levite priest could go in before Him once each year on the day of atonement and if He did not approach God's throne holy and humbly, He would be smitten dead.   

As much as He continually waits for and desires our fellowship, there is a process that is acceptable to Him and for us to deviate and approach Him with a nonchalant, “hey, God, what’s happenin’, Bro”, I feel good, you feel good attitude is like the Israelites not following the Instructions to enter into the Tabernacle. Unless they went through the thirty-foot wide, one and only, entry gate, they could not get in. And, unless we first deal with our sin, renew our heart and mind and enter into His presence with a clean heart and pure intent, we may feel we have a relationship with Him but we will not enjoy fellowship that could be likened to being in the very Holy of Holies.

The Doobie Brothers song, “Jesus is Just Alright With Me”, is, unfortunately, the mindset of the majority of believers today. Where has our reverence, the awe, the wow of coming into the presence of a holy, mighty God – creator of heaven and earth – gone? Why do we treat Him like a good luck charm?

As I have prepared each week to teach this study, I am convicted, I am humbled, I am in awe and I can but feel as the Psalmist David said, "God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!"(Psalm 51:10-12 MSG)  Our Heavenly Father is approachable and He waits, having the table set and ready for our fellowship, but we must come to Him, humbly, thankful, and expecting that we will be received.  I am so glad, He always comes to meet me as I "run" to Him.

All in all, after I have examined my own heart, and my attitudes, I can confidently say ,“God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start. Indeed, I've kept alert to God's ways; I haven't taken God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works, I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.” 2 Samuel 22:21 (MSG)

The Best is Yet to Come!

Today, I am closing the door of one of the most challenging and most exciting decades of my life and tomorrow I will be standing on the threshold of another. During this past decade, I have witnessed more than I ever could have ever thought or imagined possible.

I have experienced overwhelming love and support from family, precious friends, and total strangers. I have been encouraged to carry on and reach for the brass ring, never being too old to attain that higher degree. I have been anxious and filled with anxiety for wayward children that I learned painstakingly to leave them in the hands of a just and loving God, trusting Him to bring the sheep back into the fold. I have felt the sting of hate spewed forth in anger. I have felt the excitement and mixed emotions of letting go and watching my children leave home to begin lives of their own with the loves of their lives.

I have weathered blistering heat and sun, horizontal rain, sleet, and snow, with howling winds cheering on my soccer stars as they helped to drive their teams to victories. I sold coffee, worked concession stands, volunteered to do senior nights, and proudly marched across the fields one last time with each of my senior stars.

I have totally appreciated and understood what the Hallmark cartoon character, Maxine, meant when she said, “grandchildren are God’s reward to us for not killing our own.” And I more fully understood her humor when she declared, “parents of teenagers understand why some animals eat their young!” That was especially true when all three of mine were teens at the same time living at home!

I felt violated and angry along with thousands of others on that fateful 09/11 and proudly pledge my allegiance and show my colors of patriotism for the USA every chance I get. I have been quickened in my spirit to pray for the protection of a young soldier in battle and harms way because of a shared affection with his parents and I have been privileged to witness that young soldier become a man of integrity and instrument of God.

I have held the hand of my daughter and comforted her twice as she gave birth to our precious granddaughters. I have prayed and continue to pray for my son-in-law to know Christ in a personal way and I have encouraged him and my sons to be men of integrity and challenge them still to be men of God.

I have proudly stood at attention as my son-in-law swore his oath of allegiance to serve our country. At another time, I sat choking back tears as I listened to my “miracle” son humbly proclaim God’s deliverance and healing in his life and watch him be restored.

I watched my mother, strong enough to outlive and care for two husbands and most of her family, succumb to the frailty of old age and slip peacefully into the arms of Jesus when she fell asleep.

I have begged God too many times to count to remove the constant, nagging pain that I daily endure from past injuries but instead He has given me grace to endure and appreciation for the little things I can still do.

In times of uncertainty, my husband and I have clung to each other and thanked God for seeing us through each and every trial.

I have seen the majesty of God displayed in mountains so high you could barely see the tops, in forests so green and lush, they appeared as velvet. I have felt the effects of the earth as it groaned and shifted as if to let us know its need to “stretch”. I have witnessed God’s first light as it peaked its first rays over the ocean from atop the mountain where it first kisses the USA each day with its warmth. I have held, cuddled and smelled the sweetness of two baby girls and I have grown quite fond of the name “Mimi”.

I was reminded very vividly the impact of living a Godly life and the legacy that life leaves in the sudden and seemingly untimely death of a sister, a friend, of 32 years.  And I have experienced the joy of reuniting with old friends only to pick up where we left off so many years ago.

As it draws close to midnight and dawn of a new decade now quickly approaches, I find that I am crossing over into an exciting new time - one that will be filled with new adventures, new challenges, and a destiny, known only to God that awaits me and that will unfold before me daily as the last decade has. If you are reading this blog, perhaps you have been a part of my last decade – you know who you are – and I am grateful to God and thankful to each one of you for being such a special part of my life. Thank you for walking this journey with me and I can only say, “to God be the glory!” Psalm 90:1 - The best is yet to come!

The Difference Page 39 Made

A few weeks ago, I stopped in a Christian bookstore, and before paying for my purchase decided to look at the sale table.  Actually, after you read this blog, in retrospect, you will see that it had to be God that caused me to check out the sales before I left the store.  My extra “sale purchase” was a small, pocket-size devotional book, compiled and written by Chuck Swindoll, Wisdom for the Way, Wise Words for Busy People, The “busy people” part certainly fits me so I began reading the book during my brief lunch periods each day at school.  Unsuspecting, about one week ago, I sat in the quiet storage area behind my classroom, reading that little devotion as I nibbled my lunch. Little did I know what a profound impact that page 39 that would have on my Christian walk in the 30-seconds that it took me to read it.  I share it with you below:

Wow!  If you are reading this, I’m sure you are thinking about the many unfair blows that life has dealt you. I hope that as you read, really read, these words, it will all make sense and you will feel the sense of relief and release as I felt when I said, “okay, Lord, I cannot see how it was good for me, and it doesn’t seem You will ever explain it to me or tell me why, but I accept your will in my life, absolutely, even if I never know why or understand what you expect to accomplish in me through this thing.”

Maybe you have some terrible hurts and things that have happened to you that you, too, have buried and even though you try not to think about it, something will trigger that feeling, that thought and pain and rage begin a battle in your mind as the question, “why?” causes a flood of emotions that you have tried to hide, and, the majority of the time, you have been very successful just as I have been.

Some of the blows dealt to me in my life have been so painful and I have buried them so deeply within that no one would ever know; emotional cuts and hurts so deep that no one knows and no one will probably ever know or understand.  Why was I left as a young teenager and a friend taken in a needless, untimely accident?  Why, being left, have I had to endure daily pain and multiple surgeries to keep my “framework” together just to manage normal daily activities?  Why was I denied the privilege of having children of my own? Why did I miscarry an only pregnancy never to have the privilege of carrying another child?  Why was I made a literal scapegoat for someone else, someone who hurt children, a liar, a thief? Why did it take so long for others to believe the truth?  Why could such a thing happen to totally cause me to walk away from ministry and to angrily and secretly carry the desire for revenge?  Why does death rob us of precious time? Why?  Why God did you allow those things to happen to me?  I don’t understand.  I was faithful, I was loyal, I was doing what You called me to do; it was You, God, I just wanted to honor you and give you the glory. . .How could you possibly get glory from any of this., God?

At times I felt I should just rip Romans 8:28 right out of my Bible.  “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  There were years that I chose not to believe that verse and no one knew.  My inner person screamed inside, “why?”

Some of you reading this blog have lost loved ones to untimely deaths – children that your arms long to embrace but you are forced to wait for eternity – and you question why?  Some of you have suffered cancer and have thus far, beaten it, but you question, why?  Some of you have had children who have suffered disease, debilitating illnesses, cancer, why? There is much emotion in this and you continue to question, why? Why are children raped and murdered?  Why do bad things happen to good people?

But God, after reading page 39 in this little devotional, through His Holy Spirit spoke so clearly within me, I looked around to see if there was someone there – in reality there was. I took a great big sigh.  It was relieving.  It was so comforting. . .but, first, I felt ashamed and so guilty for not trusting God.  Oh, I could trust God for you – for anyone – but not for me.  It didn’t work that way. No one knew.

Then, it was just like a veil lifted from in front of me and I understood that each of those unfair circumstances, each wrong and unexplained experience that I endured were another opportunity for me to unconditionally accept that God truly did know “me”.  My responsibility was simply to accept, from His hand, that which He had given me, in absolute trust realizing that the confinement of the hedge I was in was good and for His glory. I believe I more fully understand the scripture in I Corinthians 13:12, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known”.

No, I haven’t arrived yet.  I don’t have all the answers  - I never will.  I just understand that some things I must accept whether or not I ever know why.  It is my responsibility as a follower of Christ, to place my ultimate trust in the One, who may not always tell me why, but who holds me in the palm of His hand.  “See, I will not forget you, behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands. . .” Isaiah 49:15b-16a

The 11 Rules of Life. . .A New Twist

A while ago, I read the 11 Rules of Life that were quoted from Charles Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids. Bill Gates was once credited for authoring this, however, he was simply quoting Sykes during a college commencement at which he [Bill Gates] had spoken.  While it is very true and poignant, I insured on the first day of school this year that every one of my students received a copy of it to read and hopefully they will ponder it.  As I was praying, I felt that I would set it out those same rules here -  just with a different twist.  I hope you enjoy it and that it blesses you.

Rule 1:

Life is not fair, get used to it. 

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:19

Rule 2:

The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.  "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” I Samuel 16:7 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Rule 3:

You will not make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.  "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Rule 4:

If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.  "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." II Timothy 2:15

Rule 5:

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity."Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" Colossians 3:23  "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Rule 6:

If you screw up, it's not your parents' fault so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

“For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”  Proverbs 24:16

Rule 7:

Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying bills, cleaning your room, and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.  So before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.  “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:4-6

Rule 8:

Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer.  This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3

Rule 9:

Life is not divided into semesters.  You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself.  Do that on your own time.  “There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under the heavens; He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1,11

Rule 10:

Television is not real life.  In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

“There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12

Rule 11:

Be nice to nerds.  Chances are you'll end up working for one... “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD.” Jeremiah 17:7

Remember:  Jesus loves you as no other.  He cares for you and He is waiting to hear from you.  Just whisper his name - that sweet, blessed, calming, restorative, trusted name!

Change is Beginning. . .

Today, in mid-August, as I stood pumping gas into my car, I gazed at blue skies with candy-cotton clouds being wafted about with a gentle breeze while my mind wandered wishing to squeeze out just a few more days of summer.  My gaze sauntered to a patch of small maple trees across the street in front of the bank.  I noticed that several of the more exposed branches toward the top of the tree – the branches facing east – had already begun to dress for autumn.

Their colors were vibrant and the leaves danced as the breeze blew through them.  “Changing already,” I thought to myself, and sighed heavily.   I realized then that in just a few short weeks, fall would settle into northeast Ohio, and the “change” [of seasons] would begin.

While fall is my favorite season of the year, it does most definitely signal change.  The nights have certainly been getting cooler, the daylight is hurrying away more quickly now, and the start of our school year in just a few days signals the end of sleeping in (if 7:30 AM is sleeping in) and a wait of many months before the thoughts of vacation can rise again.  I was blessed to be able to travel into Canada and Maine during the fall of past years and have certainly witnessed the magnificence of God’s handiwork as he painted each tree before it lost its leaves.

While serving as a witness to the change of seasons, my thoughts turned toward our Father in heaven – the creator of all that is so magnificent.  I remembered that no matter how much change takes place – the seasons, the death of loved ones, the birth of a baby, the joining of young lives as husband and wife – no matter what, God never changes!  This was not some fantastic revelation that I had but a certainty that I feel each day in my heart and in my soul.  I can rest assured that I can trust Him knowing that He has everything under control.  In a world that seems so out of control most of the time, I know that God who placed the order in our vast universe still has everything under control, whether we think He does or not.  He IS in control and most importantly – He NEVER changes. “Also the Glory of Israel will not lie or change His mind; for He is not a man that He should change His mind.” (I Samuel 15:29)

“For I, the LORD, do not change. . .” (Malachi 3:6)  How do I know that God does not and will not change?  His word tells me in Hebrews 11:1 “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.” (The Message)  So, here it is – the change of seasons, from summer to autumn is a given – we live in northeast Ohio – we expect that change; we live in a world of uncertainties and the political climate in our nation is just short of a riot every time a politician opens their mouth but I have confidence that God will not change and His infinite love for me and the assurance of His presence in my life will see many through any change that this world and this life may bring to me. 

Just look around. . .the “change” is about to happen but the leaves are about the only thing that appear to be changing, and thankfully and gratefully, certainly not God!

Does it Happen to You?

Does it ever happen to you? It happens to me and I hate to admit it.  Sometimes, when I pray, my mind begins to wander.  I talk to God just as I write – unpretentious – and I know He always hears.  But, sometimes when I am singing a worship song or a song of praise, I fail to hear or think carefully about the words flowing from my mouth. Then, a pang of guilt strikes and everything gradually shifts back into focus – I center my mind totally on praising and worshipping my Savior trying to be certain that my words are more than just “pretty words”; or I continue my pursuit of seeking God’s leading and asking His will for my life (even if just for the day or the moment).  And. . .I remember – I remember the blessings in my life that I take for granted every day: my salvation, a loving husband,  three great children, two adorable granddaughters, some of the best friends in the world, my terrific church where I can worship with others who share my faith, my job, my home, good food – I could go on but I think you get the point.

Psalm 143:5 I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

The Psalmist David remembered. . . and he meditated. He engaged in thought; he contemplated; he reflected.    When I meditate on all that God has given me and all He has done for me, I cannot help but worship.  I cannot help but lift my voice in praise.  I cannot help but reflect to others what He means to me.  Often it feels like I am a flower that has not yet bloomed and then all of my thoughts, my energy, my innermost being is concentrated on that meditation, the worship, my Spirit begins to praise and I begin to bloom as a rose opening its petals as it reaches upward and outward.

Do you remember?  Can you remember the last time when you enjoyed pure, focused on your Savior, worship and praise?  Can you remember the last time you truly enjoyed a 1:1 conversation with God when nothing or no one else was competing for your attention – not the kids, not your husband, not a friend, not your pet, your students, your employer?

It happens to all of us – we are human – we are consumed with our lives and all that pulls and tugs on us.  It is important to make a concentrated effort to meditate - to put it all aside – it’s as if your spirit can breathe in His presence.   But oh the blessings when we do.  When we put forth even the smallest effort, when we reach just a bit, we will be blessed beyond anything we can think or imagine.

So, take time to remember – to meditate – to have a personal conversation with God – and if your mind wanders or you lose focus. . .just come on back and finish your visit with Him.  You won’t regret it.

Goodbye my sister, my friend - Gale

Today, my dear friend of 33 years died suddenly.  Her name was Gale.  I had been the “older sister” to her and her three sisters for all these years.  That’s how it was and is – there was never a question.  We were always there for each other’s good times and bad times – we were friends – we were sisters.  Her life touched and ministered to hundreds of people. Her life had been hard, raising two children on her own, sometimes working two and three jobs to support her and her children.  Her deadbeat husband never cared.

Gale treated everyone the same – equally and kindly.  If Gale told you she would pray for you, you could take it to the bank and she would pray for you as if you were family.  Her arms hugged hundreds, if not thousands; her hands fed hundreds, if not thousands – sometimes as a caterer – sometimes just because there were hungry people that needed fed. 

Gale’s absence will leave a great void in the lives of her family and friends.  As is in the loss of any loved one, it won’t be the same without her.  She is irreplaceable.

My solace today and the peace that I find within my soul comes from the very comforting fact that Gale knew Jesus Christ in a very real and personal way.  He was her Savior.  When she fell asleep here on earth, it was into His arms she awoke with a smile on her face knowing that she had reached home – her final destination.  She had joined her mother and thousands of saints who had gone before her – she beat us home!   

Do we miss her?  Do we grieve?  Does it hurt?  Absolutely!!!  But again I must turn to my Savior for comfort and the word of the apostle Paul in Philippians 1:21 “for me to live is Christ but to die is gain.” And, again he reminds us who follow Jesus Christ “. . . to be absent from the body is to be at home with the Lord.” (2 Cor. 5:8)  Even though we are grieving for “our” loss, heaven is rejoicing in its gain. 

Many friends, family, and those whom we don’t really know, will come to offer us their sympathies and kind words and life will go on – it always does – and time will help.  But the best comfort through all the pain of loss is in knowing that we will stand with her, hand in hand, in glory one day praising and worshiping our Lord, our Savior, our God.  “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:18,38-39).  Goodbye, sweet Sister, sweet Friend - Gale.